Let me show you the world in my eyes

Meme

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 18:30:41 GMT

- Who are you?
- Are we friends?
- When and how did we meet?
- Would you kiss me?
- Give me a nickname and explain why?
- Describe me in one word!
- What was your first impression of me?
- Do you still think the same?
- What reminds you of me?
- If you could give me anything what would it be?
- How well do you know me?
- Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?
- Would you ever meet up with me?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 14:47:14 GMT

Humans are strange. We're complex and most of the time hard to figure out.

But we need comfort from other people or animals in some people's point of view. We call them friends or relations. As I write this, I feel someone I trust is making cracks in that bond we had.
But maybe it's me too, maybe I should listen. But where did it go wrong? This has gone for a few months and I hate this moment more then ever. I turn my back and that person turns his. It hurts. It's like having a knife stabbing your heart. Every second.

I don't want to lose that person. That person is so dear to me. I may be stubborn and sometimes annoying but I'm walking my path. Now I'm not saying that that person shouldn't bother with my life, but it's nice to keep the reins in my own hands. I've made bad choises in the past and I learned from it. It's hard to find a job when they can get someone with a higher education.

I kinda see when the cracks began. And I understand that the person wants me to be happy too, but can't I be happy with the path I have now instead of sitting back in the school? I'm almost 25 damnit.
When I read the job applications and see some applications my thought is "send that resume" and I do. Most of the time I don't get a reply and that sucks. Every day I search for jobsites that I written myself in, Every week I call the groups that help me find and get a job. It's annoying getting the words "We don't have anything for you" every. single. time.

I may be an asshole not listening to the person...maybe he'll read it and can see what kind of an dumbass I am...

I'm strange...I'm complex when I'm angry and a open book when I'm "normal"..

Soy un perdedor I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me? - Beck with Loser

High expectations.

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 16:17:09 GMT

It's wierd...Someone does something completely out of his character.

I heard that 3/4 days ago. A friend of mine (one I expect the least of) got a relationship. Now I'm not the type of guy to say "I totally didn't expect that from you" in a serious way and I'm toally happy for him but now I get "Now you Fhant" from even my friends. That is kind of the last thing I expected, let alone wanted.

Now even some of my friends are expecting me to get a girl. As if it's that easy. I read people's blogs and stuff and I'm happy for them don't get me wrong and even my 'little green me' (the one that hated everyone who was in love) died. It's just that the weight of falling in love is placed on me.
I know, people WANT me to see happy. But behind the smile I now give is still doubt. Doubt that I cannot fight the right one. Doubt that if I find her, I can't keep her forever. I've met wonderful persons the last few year and I want to know every single one of them better, but it's just that I fear myself more...that I stumble and fuck it up.

And here is the most annoying part, the last few years (Ever since my brother has a realtion) I get the words "Now only for Fhant" from my family. I hate it. And I can't do anything about it. I mean, I WANT to but I can't..What can I do about it? Instantly say I have a realtion?

I hate the path I walk now...

"Some of this pain will always stay
Deep and true"- Kamelot (Song: This Pain from the Black Halo)

If I were you Fhant I would post this in your LJ!

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 14:58:07 GMT

*sigh* Let's begin at the start shall we?

I had a job and I resinged from it after 3 weeks. I wasn't content with the hours made and I wasn't content with the people around me. Therefore, I left. This all happend yesterday.
The first thing I heard was my mother saying "You could have looked for work and still worked there? I would have done it if I were you."
Then the people from the angency where I worked: "Honestly, if I were you I would have looked for a job and worked there."
Then my dad: "I would have done it diffrently. You've done a stupid thing."

And you know what's so strange?

They are older (Thus more experienced) then me
They "know how to do this"

And the most important one:

3. THEY ARE NOT ME!

I think that's clear.

Yes, whenever I did something I always get "I would have done it diffrent " towards my head. I've heard them in any way possible.
It's nice that you want to help me, but you know what would really help me instead of your advice? Giving me a job where I can earn money! I know, there are some people that really try and help me out in giving me a job, but their aim is too high. I've always said I want to be happy, it doesnt matter if I have to be forverer in the "just a lowlife job" case, but my goal is to be happy with the things I have? Am I happy at this moment? No, because I also realize it's a stupid step I take but it's probably a step I make in order to become happy. Life is not having the most money or survivng with only a few bucks. Life is being happy with the friends and family around you and feeling loved (at least, that's what I think). We all make mistakes, but life is also a learning proces. Everyone that said "Is that a good idea?" in one way or another has either experienced or made that step and advices you against it. But you don't learn form watching or listening, in our physchology we learn from doing it, realizing it was bad and adapting to it. Look at toddlers, they won't stop putting that handfull of sand in their mouth because you said it's yucky, they stop doing it because they have to taste it and realize it's yucky. Of course some toddlers will put even more in thier mouth because it's jummy in their view...Still, you won't touch an low current fence because your father/mother said you shouldn't, you do it because you experienced it. The shock and the tingly feeling you get when you touched it, it makes you realize it's bad... In cometh conditioned reflex (aka the Pavlov effect). You don't touch the wire because you know it's painful. (I may or may not explain it properly but if you know me, you know what I mean.)

There, now if you all excuse me, I got some people to write and resumés to send.

War of the houses 1 to 8

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 17:04:51 GMT

War of the houses

1. Prologue

“Nana, can I talk to you for a moment?”

A girl turned her head around and looked at the old man sitting on the stone bench. “What is it Master Kazuo?”

“You have reached the age of sixteen. It’s time you should know about the houses.” Kazuo said while he looked at Nana.

The young girl in a pure white kimono and a red obi around her waist sat next to him and listened carefully.

“There were 4 houses Nana. One for each element everyone can feel, see and hear. Fire, Water, Earth and Air. However, 1000 years ago, there was a new house introduced. The house of Kitsune. This house had the 2 elements of Wood and Metal. The reason they didn’t called themselves House of Wood or Metal was because of that the main group that first entered the house were Kitsune, who had mastered the art of wood or metal depending on their personalities. But some people started to obtain secondary elements like Earth and Wood or Fire and Metal. They were banned from their first House because they practiced another element, we don’t know if it had to do with the Kitsune or the exposure of other elementalists, but the people did know is that they needed a place to stay. The House of the secondary element was also not an option.” Kazuo explained and pointed at the etched sign of all the elements above the entrance gate. “That’s when the House of All was made; everyone that uses 2 elements could learn and train their powers here. Also, everyone that wants to learn the elements must come here first at the age of ten. When you are sixteen you can choose your own path.” Kazuo sighed and smiled at Nana.

“Master Kazuo, if I may ask, what were your elements?” Nana asked with a glitter in her brown eyes. Kazuo nodded and smiled. “When I was your age I had the powers of Water, after I aged I gained the powers of Wood.” He said while he rolled up his white kimono sleeves, showing on his left and right lower arms two markings. One was 3 waved lines; a marking from the House of Water and the other was a small fox head on his right arm, a marking from the House of Kitsune. “When I battled, they called me ‘The gardener’. Because I could use the water to strengthen my wood attacks.” Kazuo smiled.
“But how did you get the Kitsune marking? You couldn’t get into their House but you learned the wood element.” Nana said while she stood up. “Very observant of you. Indeed, I did not travel to the House of Kitsune but went to the House of All where Wood elementalists helped me to gain that power. We also have all of the markings every house has, as well as all the knowledge. You could say we’re just a library with the option to learn other elements.” Kazuo chuckled. Nana bowed and walked away for Kazuo, off to train the elements.

“Was it wise to teach her the history of our war Kazuo?” A woman in a silver grey kimono asked while she sat next to Kazuo. “If we don’t tell her before she leaves the House of All, every elementalist from their own House will tell her lies Inari. It’s better that she understands now that we’re here to aid the people, without showing our deeper intention to protect all of the Houses.”

“Sometimes I wonder if you’re wise or foolish Gardener.” Inari said while she looked at Nana.

“I think I’m more foolish Searing Torch, I think I’m more foolish.” Kazuo replied.

2. Diplomacy

Kazuo was walking through the corridors of the House. He was summoned before the council of All. He was thinking why they needed him. Was it because he told the story about Nana? Only Inari heard him but she never tell something to the council, since she thinks that the council is just a group that only fills the spot of the people that are craving for power. And it was, there are no elementalists in the council, only kings and rulers. Kazuo hated them just like Inari; they think they could use everyone in the House of All. The corridors were all etched with the markings of all the elements. Kazuo knew the order by heart, Earth, Air, Fire, Air, Metal, Wood, and then it began again. Kazuo stood in front of a big set of doors. “’Air above us. Earth under us. Water before us. Wood behind us. Metal in our hands. Fire in our heart.’ Save us the old texts. ” Kazuo muttered. He pushed open the doors and walked inside. “Kazuo the Gardener, do you know why you are here?” a voice echoed in the room that Kazuo now was in. “No, I do not High King Dosan.” He replied while he stood in the centre of the room. The room was dimly lit but Kazuo could see the hooded men standing in a half circle around Kazuo. “There are words that a group called ‘Inquisitor’ is killing and plundering.” Dosan said.

“And what are you asking from me?”

“We want you with Inari the Searing Torch, to find more information about them. People say that they are elementalists from the House of Fire.”

Kazuo smiled. “You’re planning to lure us away from our main duties so that you can rule this house?”

“Unacceptable Kazuo.” A deep voice replied.

“Is it now Captain Masaru? The only two Elementalists here that still use the verbal and scroll teachings are Inari and I. We both resent the way your council is working, and now you will both send us to a mission that probably marks our deaths.” Kazuo yelled.

“Who else do you want to do this then Kazuo? Kaito, the Wind Cutter? Rin, the Elegant Mist?” Dosan asked.

“They’re all dead Dosan.”

“That’s right; everyone from the Elemental Shield is dead or lost. Only you and Inari are still alive.”

“And you want to sacrifice us? How thoughtful.”

Dosan pointed to Kazuo and yelled, “You do not wish to fight for your House? You, who had the most beautiful defence in our world, would turn away from a task that only requires information gathering from eyewitnesses?”

“We are still on sacred grounds Dosan! There is no need to bark at me like a dog!” Kazuo snapped back. When he regained his calm he sighed, “I’m old High-king Dosan. I do not have the flexibility I once had. If someone could break through my defence, I dodged its attack. I am not fit for the job because I’m getting old.”

“Fine, we will look for someone else. A new student. How does that sound?” Dosan asked with malice in his voice. Kazuo felt the room shatter apart as he could see Nana training her basic spells and even younger kids look with awe at her abilities.

“Nana is perfect. Young, smart, agile.” He heard Dosan say.

“Not Nana, nor any of the students here. Go and ask the other houses Dosan, we from the House of All do not wish to cooperate!”

The room was silent, only the small flickering of a candle was the only thing that could make a sound. “Very well then. Your choice is foolish Kazuo, we’d probably have settled with a teacher but you did not even want us to give a useless life of your students.” Dosan said while he and the others turned around.

“Remind me to tell that your future son Dosan, I will be happy to send him on any life-threatening missions.” Kazuo said calm.

3. The girl from Sozenkan ridge

Outside in the gardens her age related people taunted Nana. “How long have you been here?” a boy asked her. “Well I-“

“You’ve been here longer then all of us! My dad told me so!”

Nana looked down on the grass, they were speaking the truth. She was here for as long as she could remember.

“Now Sosuke, it’s bad to taunt your probably future wife.” Inari said while she heard the kids talk. Sosuke turned red and the other kids started laughing. Inari looked at Nana and placed her hand on Nana’s shoulder. “Have I ever told you about the girl from Sozenkan ridge?”

The kids shook their heads. It was a new story of Lady Inari, a story from her was a great thing. Every week she would tell a story about when she was young and trained her main element, but now she will tell a story about a girl. The kids sat down in the grass and Inari sat next to Nana, who still felt a bit of shame because she was longer then her friends in the House of All.

“Let me first tell you this; ‘Fire over Air, Air over Wood, Wood over Earth, Earth over Water, Water over Metal and Metal over Fire.’ Does anyone know this?”

A kid raised his hand “Is it the balance of the Elements and how they react to each other?”

Inari smiled and nodded. “That’s true. Fire survives a gust of wind while that gust of wind can take down a tree. That same tree can dig its roots deep in the earth while the land beings where the water ends. If you dip a sword in water, it will rust but it survives and gets stronger in a flame. Sozenkan Ridge is the only place where five out of the six elements are joining together. The Sozenkan fire deep within the mountain, the jagged earthen spires that are run over by the Kami Path River. The forest of Jinkai that grows over the other side of the ridge. And the winds that blow between it. Now, I was just done with my travels through our world and went back to the House of All through Jukai forest. I always walked close to Sozenkan Ridge because then I could see and feel the power that we elementalists use and control. In the far distance, on the path that I walked on I saw a basket and heard a children’s cry. It drowned even the roar of the Kami Path, it was so sad, a little child left here to either fall down in the river by a gust of wind or eaten by wolves.” Inari sighed. “But maybe they wanted me to find it, I’ll never know. But I picked up the basket and saw that there was a child, a girl, in it crying for her mother. She had a snow-white skin and when she saw me, she laughed and looked at me with bright blue eyes. ‘I can’t let her leave her here’ I said to myself and took her with me to the House of All where she stayed until now. Some of the teachers called her ‘Tsukishiro’ meaning ‘Pale Moon’ for her white skin and her blue eyes and black hair. She now has a darker skin tone because she played and worked in the sun but still teachers call her that and some even hope that she will learn 2 special elements complimenting her nickname. “ Inari looked at Nana who seemed a bit proud that she was taken care of for 16 years in the House of All. “But Lady Inari, didn’t this girl learned the elements sooner then we did? Are those rumours true?” a girl asked.

Inari placed her hand on Nana. “Ask her yourself, she knows what she did when she was nine.”

Nana suddenly blushed and looked at the small crowd. “I...I learned the elements when I was ten... Before that, Master Kazuo and Lady Inari taught me how this world works and taught me simple things like how to cook.” Nana said softly. The crowd was suddenly silent. “So she isn’t different then us.”

“Yeah she is just like us, only she learned other things in the House.”

Nana smiled and looked at Inari who winked at her.

“Say Nana, do you want to teach us how to cook?” a girl asked while she looked at her. Nana blushed and nodded. The group that heard Inari’s story now was torn apart in smaller groups and either learned the basic ways of the element control or just talked about random things.

“Now it’s my time to ask if it was smart to tell everyone that story Inari.” Kazuo said while he walked to her. Inari shook her head while she looked at Nana. “It’s for the best to know why she came here. I don’t want any lies later on when she arrives in another House.”

“That’s very wise of you Inari, but we have some serious matters now. We’re being used again.”

“Don’t tell me Dosan..” Inari said while her eyes widened. Kazuo nodded. “We need to go to Oni’s Den, the village nearby is most likely to be attacked by someone from a rebellious group.”

Inari looked down on the ground and then to Nana. “What do we tell her?” she asked.

“We must honour our code, we tell nothing until the mission is done or either one of us dies. Then the unveiling of the truth must come.”

Inari nodded. “I’ll pack some things.”

4. Ritual of Darkness

In the House of Fire, deep in the temple of the fire god Ifrit, a man was sitting on a chair in a dimly candle lit room. His body was sweating and he could see several people surrounding him. “Are you ready Hibiki?” A voice asked. The man nodded and replied, “I’m ready for the good of my lord.”

“Commence the ritual.”

The dimly candle lit room now sparked with even more candles. The man could see more men covered in dark cloaks standing around him. On the floor, there was a star with on each end a man holing a black candle. In front of him, a man with black short hair was standing in front of him.

Outside the drawn star, there was a circle of men with their hands folded softly chanting “We chant the song of Darkness, the everlasting veil of the beginning and the end. Death is another way to your kingdom. We accept the night as our ally, we shun the light.”

An old man with no hair on his head stood in front of the man and roared out above the chant. “Now it’s the time to make us a warrior! Now we can build an army! Now the Darkness will smile the silver smile of the moon with blades forged in dark flames!” Hibiki could see that the old man was raising his arms in the air and the long sleeves of his black robe hid his hands. “Time to take a stand Hibiki.” The old man said while he showed his right hand to him and placed it on his chest. “This is your second mark, but the first of many. You will serve under this hand; you will follow it and obtain our shared goals.” Hibiki winced in pain but looked who had placed his hand on his chest. “I will my lord.” Hibiki said under another shot of pain. The old man smiled and pulled his hand away from Hibiki’s chest. “Then state you name in front of us.” The man said.

“I am Hibiki, the Dark Flame.” Hibiki replied while he still felt the burning sensation on his chest of the spell.

“My King, I need to talk to you.” Another voice called out. The old man in the middle turned around and walked away while saying “Treat his wounds, next week we will move.”

Outside the room where the ritual was held a man in heavy armour fit for a high ranked person was waiting for someone to come out. The second the door opened, he kneeled down and looked down on the ground. “It’s good that I taught you that much respect Masaru, you know that when we perform the dark ritual I don’t need any disturbance.” An old man with thin gray hair spoke above him. “I’m very sorry my king, I will receive punishment after you have heard my question.”

“You have doubts?”

“Indeed my liege. Are you sure you want to use the Blood Mage Kankuro to kill the last two of the Elemental shield?”

The king smiled. “Of course, I’ve already hurt Kazuo to say his prize student can take his place. He’ll probably be getting Inari to come with him; after all, she is the youngest of the Elemental shield.”

“But still, Kazuo the Gardener did defeat Kankuro before.”

The king sighed and shook his head. “Stand up and answer me this Masaru, have you ever heard of ‘advanced element control’?”

Masaru shook his head. The King glared at him “I’m still amazed how you placed yourself next to me. Advanced Element control, or ‘advanced element’ is only available for a few people. This ability is even rarer then being an elementalist, it makes the mage powerful in the element he uses. Kankuro has found a way to control the blood in one’s body with his water element.”

“So he can control one body?”

The king shook his head. “No, he can control a whole village. That’s why I chose him.”

Masaru nodded. “I understand, you are wise King Dosan.”

“You may punish yourself again for saying my name in here.” Dosan said while he opened the door to the room he just left. “Yes my king.” Masaru muttered softly before he walked away.

5. Guardian

In the House of All, Inari was packing her things for the mission. She thought it would probably be her last so she spends the little time she had with good care. She had written a letter for Nana, once she is gone, prayed to the gods and even got a kitsune visit in a half an hour. Now the final thing rests on her shoulders.

“You have called for me Lady Inari?” A young man in a while kimono with a red collar and a white belt around his waist asked. He was in his twenties and had a serious look on his face.

Inari nodded and extended her hand to a chair. The man sat down, worried for what may come. “You have travelled the same path as I did. Maybe not in the way the Kitsune wanted you to, but you did it.” Inari said with a smile on her face.

“Thank you Lady, but as you know I’m not planning to-“the man said while Inari interrupted him. “I fear for Nana’s life. She may be sixteen, but she has honed all the elements. Every house would want her.”

“Might I ask who this Nana is?”

“Nana is the girl from Sozenkan ridge. I want you to protect her.”

“Lady Inari, I’m an elementalist. I cannot protect a young girl that every house wants.”

“You look like a ronin with that bokken of yours. Why shouldn’t you protect Nana?”

“Because everyone can see I’m an elementalist!” the man said while he stood up and showed the markings on his chest. The Kitsune and fire markings were clearly showing.

“Oh yes, you’re the only one wearing the house markings on your chest.” Inari replied while she straightened her hair and stuck a fire red camellia in her bun.

“There is one more thing. I want you to give this to Nana when I leave this world.” Inari said while she handed the man a letter. The man sighed; he knew the discussion about protecting that Sozenkan girl is futile and that he still would end up protecting her. He took the letter and put it in his kimono.

“So where are you going first?” Inari asked while she looked that the man. He wandered through the room and looked over his shoulder. “Probably the house of Kitsune, asking advice of master Dawn-eye.” He softly replied.

“You have to let her see every part of the world. Protect her with your whole heart.”

“I will bring her to the house of Kitsune and that’s it. I’m not welcome in the other houses.”

“The rules have changed my son. You can enter the other houses if you are a guardian.”

“For the last time Mo-“

“Do not say that name!” Inari snapped out.

“I’m sorry...Inari...I’m not a guardian.”

“Aim to protect her, for me.” Inari said while she placed her hands on the man’s shoulders. “I’m getting old, and Kazuo still protects me.”

“But I’m not like old man Kazuo master Inari.”

Inari smiled while she walked to the other side of the room. “I’m not your master anymore. I have learned you enough.”

“And that technique you used in one of your stories?”

Inari shook her head. “That’s hard to learn and even harder for you to use. You walk the same path I took with a sword. It’s best if you fight more with a sword then aiming at more wood or fire techniques.”

The man nodded. “I’ll be going with her then.”

Inari glared at the man. “Who is ‘her’?”

“…Nana…I’m sorry Inari...”The man said while he looked at the ground and walked out the door.

“You will be waiting for me and Kazuo to leave first right?” Inari said while the man passed her. The man muttered a small “Yeah, sure.” And walked out the room.

Inari smiled and then sat down in the chair after closing the door. “I hope she won’t have to read it…”

“Inari, are you ready?” Kazuo asked while he was outside the door.

Inari stood up and took her travelling pack. “Let’s go Kazuo.”

6. Farewell.

The man that just talked with Inari walked out the House of all and into the garden, seeing a girl with black hair sitting on a bench. “Are you Nana?” he asked calm but strict. Nana nodded, she stood up to bow lightly for the unknown guest in the House of All. “I welcome you to the House of All sir. My masters are- “

“I just spoke with them, from now on I am your guardian and you will do as I tell.” The man interrupted Nana.

She looked curiously at the man. “Mister, you do know that I can become a mage or even an elementalist? Why do I need a samurai like you?”

Before she knew it, Nana had a flame close to her face and an angry glare of the man. “I am not a samurai. You are too young to understand what I can do with my bokken. It’s best if you’d follow my orders and do not say any-“

The flame on his hand died out and his words were cut.

“Didn’t I tell you to teach her instead of giving her scars she doesn’t need?” Inari said while she let the flame die out in her hand. She quickly took the flame over and stopped the threatening words of the man.

“I thought you already left Mo- “

“Do not toy with me Seshiro!”

The man was shocked. Inari said his name for the first time. Inari was also surprised she put so much power in her word that the whole garden wondered what happened. “I’m sorry.” Inari said softly. “But you know that I must protect Nana even more while I’m close.”

Seshiro nodded and then looked at Nana. “I am Seshiro, a former student under the guardian of Inari the Searing torch.” He said with a smile. Nana’s eyes sparkled, this was the first time she met the student of Inari she heard so much about. “Nana, Kazuo and I have to go on a trip. You are going with Seshiro, listen and learn from him like he did with me.” Inari said while she stroke through Nana’s hair.

Nana nodded while trying to hold back her tears. “I’ll tell you about my stories when I get back Lady Inari!” she said while she tried to smile.

Inari smiled and nodded, she then looked at Seshiro who looked at the sky. “We never say ‘goodbye’.” He said while he crossed his arms. “You mean you never say goodbye little fox.”

Seshiro blushed but still gazed at the sky. “Protect her the way I protected you. Go to Dawn-eye, but escort us first from a distance. We are going to Oni’s Den.” Inari said whispering.

“Why Inari? Why should I escort you and...Nana?”

Inari looked angry at Seshiro but then regained her posture. “Kazuo thinks we might be ambushed. We want to be safe until we arrive in Oni’s Den.”

Seshiro looked at Nana and then shook his head. “She is the target of every house, I cannot protect you and the old ma-“

“Kazuo!”

“-Kazuo too. If I had some more time I would learn more sword techniques.”

“We don’t have time. Follow us from a distance and communicate through the trees.” Inari said resolute. Seshiro sighed and walked to Nana. “I’m sorry Nana, we have to do something first before we go to the houses.” He said. Nana nodded and looked at Kazuo who talked with Inari. “We still can say goodbye to Master Kazuo and Lady Inari right Master Seshiro?” she asked.

Seshiro felt a shiver over his spine; he wasn’t used to the title ‘master’ even if he is an official one. He knelt down and smiled at the small girl. “First, don’t call me master. I’m your guardian; you can call me Seshiro or Crow. ‘Master’ is a title given by the houses to show off their most powerful people; also it’s a name stating you are my slave. I don’t have anyone under my control. If you want to give me a title, then give me the name ‘Sifu’.” He explained with a small smile on his lips. Nana looked at Kazuo and ran to him. “I understand Seshiro! Master Kazuo, I want to give you a proper goodbye!” she yelled at Kazuo who was ready to leave next to Inari. “Thanks Little Nana, but we are already late.” He said while he kneeled down. “Promise me one thing Nana, become a great elementalist and listen to what Seshiro teaches you.”

“Is this a final goodbye then Master Kazuo, Lady Inari?”

“Probably not, we are still in your heart and in your mind.” Inari said with a smile.

Nana sighed and looked at the ground.

“We’ll be off then, we will return! Goodbye!” Kazuo said while he waved and walked out of the gates.

“Nana, don’t look at the ground for people who have given you important lessons. Look either at the horizon or higher.” Seshiro said while he stood next to Nana. “Keep their promises and become a great elementalist and I’ll promise you I’ll never leave your side.”

Nana nodded and took a few steps forward. These steps became a pace and before she knew it, she was walking outside the gates, by her side her guardian and new teacher, Seshiro.

“I’ll promise master Kazuo and Lady Inari that I will become a great elementalist.” She muttered softly.

7. Oni’s festival of blood.

“Inari, do you really think it’s safe to let Seshiro protect Nana and us until Oni’s Den?” Kazuo asked. His voice was hesitant while they walked through the dense forest of Jinkai. “A very well-placed doubt Kazuo. Yes, I think it is safe to let him escort us from a distance. We three have learned the wood communication so we can stay in touch for a while. Do not think Seshiro isn’t capable of protecting people. I had to do the same too remember?” Inari replied. Kazuo looked above him; the sunlight broke through the canopy as he remembered that he let Inari do the same.

Not that far away Nana and Seshiro were walking though Jinkai forest too. “Mas- Seshiro, where are we going?” Nana asked while she looked at him. Seshiro did not reply, he was looking at the trees and then at the sky.

“Seshiro?”

“Oh, yes Nana?”

“Where are we going?”

“Oni’s Den. I have something to do there.”

“I heard that was dangerous.”

“The village near the gate of Oni’s Den is also called Oni’s Den.” Seshiro said while he stopped and looked around. “Stand still Nana.”

“Welcome to Oni’s Den travellers!” a guard said with a smile. Kazuo and Inari nodded but they felt themselves uneasy. Inari looked at Kazuo and whispered, “This doesn’t feel like a lively village.”

Kazuo nodded and looked over his shoulder to the guard that welcomed them. “Have you seen his eyes Inari? They were desperate, almost crying.”

“Something happened here.” Inari replied while she looked a children playing with a ball. Kazuo nodded while he looked through the village again. “Everyone is doing their job, as if they didn’t notice us.” He said with a slight fear in his voice. “We’re preparing for the Oni festival.” A voice behind him replied. A broad man that was dressed in black with red smiled at them. “I’m the mayor of Oni’s Den! The reason that everyone is so busy is because we have to prepare for the Oni festival. A grand festival to celebrate the kami. Would you care to join us?”

Kazuo looked at Inari while she looked around as if she was taking in the scenery. Kazuo knew enough. “I’m sorry mayor but we have other business to attend to.” He replied while he quickly summoned a ball of water and threw it in the face of the man. The mayor looked dazed round him. “What has happened? Why is everyone preparing for the Blood Festival? That is supposed to be months away. And who are you?” he asked quizzically. Kazuo looked at Inari and shook his head. A sign for her that something or someone controlled him. She folded her hands closed her eyes.

“We are from the Elemental Shield. A small group that uses their elements to protect the innocent and the Houses.” Kazuo replied while he looked at the mayor. “Tell me, what is this ‘Festival of blood’?”

The mayor nodded while he looked at the woman softly chanting. “The festival of blood is always celebrated after the fifth moon. It is a celebration of life and a feast for the dead. Children dress up as Death and the adults carry this.” The mayor said while he showed a small necklace with a pendant. The pendant held a deep red gem; within the gem, the words ‘Memento Mori’ were inscribed. As if the gem was alive the words within were pulsating. Kazuo looked at it and then looked at the man who was smiling. “Don’t worry, it’s just some harmless magic to show and let the words pulsate. It is also an item for the final day of the festival. One of the maidens in our village will act as a sacrifice for Death. She will be placed on an altar and some blood will be drawn from her, usually it is from her finger. After the blood is drawn, this gem lights up and shows the words inscribed on it. ‘Remember your mortality’, a great festival.”

“Kazuo, I found him. He’s near the forest.” Inari said while the mayor finished talking. Kazuo looked at the gates of Oni’s Den; it was placed at the start of a path that coiled around the mountain. The mountain once had a name, but it was forgotten when time passed and the people of the village build the gates to keep away raiders. The first plundering raiders were strong, and rode fast steeds. The villages of that time named them Oni, evil spirits that plundered and had their hideout high in the mountains. “I thought he would’ve taken higher ground to see over the whole village.” Kazuo replied.

“Kazuo the Gardener, stupid as always.” A voice replied.

“Kankuro the water mage. How long can you control a whole village?” Kazuo asked while he looked around.

“I’ve lost him Kazuo.” Inari said while she unfolded her hands.

“About thirty years.” The mayor suddenly said. “Also, I could control this fool even when you splashed your water in his face.”

“Show yourself Kankuro. Even though a puppeteer needs to be in the shadows, my student needs to see the face of someone that I once called a friend. “ Kazuo said calm.

8. Ingnis Terra

Seshiro looked around while standing in the same spot. Nana looked at him questioning what he did. “Seshiro, why-“Sheshiro’s hand quickly lifted to the height of Nana’s face. She knew what it meant and did not speak. “Show yourself. I do not wish to harm you unless your want to harm us.” Seshiro said calm but strict. A cackling laughter went through the woods. “You? Harm us? A simple ronin? Don’t delude yourself.”A voice replied.

“Show yourself and say what you want.” Seshiro said while he looked over his shoulder to Nana.

“Fine, since killing you without seeing my face would be such a waste.” The voice said while he walked out from behind a tree. The young man had red hair and a dark brown jacket with cut off sleeves. The marking of fire was clearly visible on his right lower arm. A charming grin was shown on his face while his black pants flowed over his fire red boots. “Well, do you like what you see?” the man asked. Seshiro shook his head. “You focus too much on the outside. State your name.”

“I asked the girl. But since you asked so nicely...” The man said sarcastically. “..My name is Ingis.”

Seshiro looked at Ingis. “What do you want from us?”

Ingis smiled and pointed his finger to Nana. Nana gasped for air and covered her mouth. “Don’t worry little girl, I only want to bring you to the house of Fire.” Ingis said.

“I won’t let you.” Seshiro replied. Ingis grinned “And who are you going to bring with you to stop this from happening...Samurai?”

Ingis said and when he was done talking, he was pinned against a tree. “Myself...Mage.” Seshiro said while he looked straight into Ingis’s eyes. “I’m so scared. I can burn you to death you know.” Ingis said while he placed a flame on Seshiro’s chest. His face was charring black but his eyes still looked at Ingis. “What is this?!”

“A technique called ‘Natures will’. It’s a wood spell.” Seshiro said behind him.

“So you’re a wood mage. I know what to do with wood magi.” Ingis replied as he tried to conjure up another flame and place it on the tree. But he was hindered; his arm didn’t allow him to place his hand on the tree. “And this is Natures grasp. It makes the wood magi use the tree to hide in and restrain someone.” Seshiro said while the sharp edge of the bokken was placed on Ingis’ neck.

Ingis grinned. “And you thought I would give up after this? I’ll show you my friend.”

Seshiro was too late to react; a heavy, powerful strike at the back of the tree sent him flying over Ingis. He landed on the ground and looked at Ingis. “Learning moment, when a wood mage is out of the spell called ‘Natures Grasp’ the restraints he put on the person also dispels.” Ingis said with a grin on his face. From behind the tree, a broad-shouldered man appeared with a club donned with iron studs on it. His body was tanned and muscular. The black pants he wore were smeared with dirt and mud.

“Allow me to introduce my friend Terra. He’s one of my partners.” Ingis said while he walked up to Seshiro. “A shame you have to die now, you would have seen some great fireworks from him.” He looked over his shoulder to Terra. “Shatter his skull.”

Terra grunted and easily placed the club on his shoulder. He walked up to Seshiro who tried to get up. Ingis laughed at the scene. “What’s wrong? Can’t stand up anymore?”

Seshiro panted and looked at Ingis. “It’s a side effect of the spell I used. If it’s broken by damaging the tree or dragging the wielder of the spell out, he cannot use his body for an amount of time.” Seshiro placed his arms on the ground and now was on hands and knees. “But, I must say that was a smart move of you, hiding your partner so I thought you were alone.” Seshiro said.

“Thank you for your kind words but your wrong if you try to get out of here. Crush his spine, then his skull.” Ingis replied while he turned around. Terra grabbed his studded club and swung it above his head. Nana gasped while the weapon landed on Seshiro’s spine, making a loud cracking sound. She covered her eyes to see no more pain. “My, have you never seen someone die little girl?” Ignis asked while he closed the gap between Nana and him. “Listen, those are the sounds of your guardian dying. We are not here to hurt you. The house of Fire needs your power.” Ignis continued.

Terra stopped and looked at Ignis who looked over his shoulder. “Of course we first have to see the Lord of stones and from alliance with them.” He said out loud. “After that, I’ll burn down everything the house of Earth has and I’ll bring you to my house.” he whispered.

Nana wanted to walk back but Ignis grabbed her by the shoulders and put her in front of him. “Watch and learn little girl, soon the only thing you will see is death combined with flames.”

“Seshiro..” Nana said softly.

“Finish it!” Ignis said while Terra lifted the club in the air.

Terra swung his weapon down on the ground and spires of rock rose in the air, impaling Seshiro.

Nana’s tears were started to flow as Ignis smiled at her. “Do you hear that? That’s the sound of death and life leaving through the doorway of this world. Seconds from now Pain and Loss will enter.” Ignis said while he walked towards Seshiro.

Nana didn’t hear it, she thought of Seshiro as he was impaled by the rock spires.

New order for escaping!!

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 17:04:03 GMT

"Just to clarify, the order for escape is Writer, followed by women and children, correct?" - Ray Sohmer on Twitter.

Oh Sohmer, if that was the case, lots of people would go first...Inlcuding me (The not so good one but still a writer)

Speaking of writing, here is a story I posted on Deviant. There is also a side project on this one called "Chronicles of Fore: the ronin" but I'll post that someday. Have fun reading it!

Oh shit here comes a report on ABUNAI!!

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 15:56:36 GMT

My feet are still sore from standing an walking all day. But I had fun! Abunai 2009 wich was held in Zwolle was a great place!

I arrived on Friday around 14.00 with a backpack and my Guitar Hero controller sticking outside of it. Unfortunately, is was so hot I couldn't wear my Guitar Zero outfit (Witch was very small T-shirt from Sonata Artica, Ripped Pants, leather jacket for the winters, speakers, Ipod and then the controller.) so it died a silent death from Den Bosch to Zwolle (2 hour train ride)

First thing I did was calling Kage and asking if I could get in. And I did..Later on I reaized I didn't actually "WROTE" myself in at the check in but that was fixed easy. I even got my money back (Yay VIP ticket!!) Afther that I just walked around the con and Cella (A very good friend of Kage and soon to be mine too XD) was amazed at the facked that I was going back and forth from Den Bosch to Zwolle everyday. So she offerd to crash at her place on Saturday. Well, I wanted to be home early that day so I left around 20.00 from the con and then went to bed around 0.00.

On Satuday I ACTUALLY had to have the train of 7.49 to get there at 10 but I was like "hell no" and woke up calmly. I packed my stuff and waited in my Rude cosplay for the bus. I wonderd if people were thinking if I was a buisness man or a person in a suit going away for a weekend ^_^; Still, I arrived at Zwolle arounf 11.45 and dropped my stuff. From that point I had a photo shoot (Pic below is me and a Reno cosplayer doing a scene from FF VVI: AC). I had fun especially when I had "Jenova's head" (It rattled XD) in my pocket and said "This has been claimed by Shinra companies". I even got questions how I got the VIP ticket and who I was cosplaying. I had to explain I didn't shave my head for a job interview I had on Monday, otherwise I would have done it. But the Aztek TV photographer thought I probably was cosplaying Agent 47 from the Hitman games. If you read this Mr. Aztek TV photographer, I'll draw a barcode in my neck with 47 on it just for you so you can make a double set of photo's! One as Agent 47 and one as Rude :P. I also sang "Master Exploder". An Elena cosplayer was suprised that I could hit those high notes XD I have some inspiration!!!
Around 2.00 me and Cella and some other people who were crashing at her place went to her house. The ride was put down in a few words: GIT DAHWN!!! And Cella was so worried that I was getting it cold.

On sunday, I woke up with a wet neck. I sweated my jogging sweater but still I was doing fine. I put on a Abunai 2007 Gopher T-shirt (It's washed now Cella, you'll be getting it back!!) and we went back to Zwolle. There I put on my Richard cosplay and got some funny photo's. I even had to carry a "Spinzaku". My robe is black, I could be photoshopped out of it XD. around noon I attended the Chibcon cosplay dating competition. I was in the batcherlor group as Richard. For the ones that don't understand what's a cosplay dating show is: A cosplayer (From any series) is the interview and is in desperate need of a batchelor, the batchelors (4 or 5) have to answer his/her questions.
The questions I got were (Answers will be replied after it.):

What would you do if I died in your arms?
Don't worry, I know a good priest who can fix that!! Benn'Joon? Benny!? Ben? Well, I could always close your wounds with fire and put your body in a corpse I just made and (I got cut off here with an ew from the person)

What would you do if you saw I was wearing my cosplay wrong?
I'd probably laugh...And laugh... and laugh... and laugh some more...And laugh some more...Yeah...

(This was the question to someone else)
What would your favourite song be and why?
*Insert Richard singing "Slaughter your world" here* (As I write this, maybe a Dick roll would have been better)

After the questions the girl wrote me (Batchelor number 4) and batchelor number 1 off. She had to pick between 2 and 3.
Richard: Number 2 would probably be emo and cry in a corner..And number 3 would rape you...

After that I picked number 1 and 3 (3 was chosen by the interviewer). And number 1's sister (Exact same copy of number 1) wanted to join me. And thus Richard went home with 3 girls, leaving the emo behind with a "Pure blood" XD

After that I went home (After hugging everyone I know ofc) I arrived home around 16.30 and then slept until today...

Well, the next con will be Anime con (Since my money can't handle FATCS and London Expo), everyone who reads this: SEE YOU THERE WITH FOR SURE:

Bokuto no Ryu (Shaman King)

AND PROBABLY:

Father Anderson (Hellsing OVA version)
Fhant Maid outfit (Because EVERYONE want me in a maid outfit)

And now a photo of me in my Rude cosplay:

Iwillpress = WIN

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 14:51:02 GMT

So... in short... I am planning to make a Guitar Zero cosplay. Some douche who thinks he's uber because he can play Dragonforce's "Through fire and flames" perfectly on easy.

Everything is done and through my scanning of sites I stumble on Newgrounds and a movie of Ilwillpress.

I lol'd...because it was my plan to do like that too! Soon at Abunai I'll be a ass (Not really, just say "I'm better then you because I play Guitar Hero on easy") and then go in Rude mode... YES I'M GONNA BE RUDE FROM FFVIII!! It gonna be freaking awesome (and it's the onlycharacter from FFVVI where I don't have to remove my left arm and change it with a machine gun...)

Illwillpress is also the man behind Fomy the squirrel:

Frequent follower of the Church of Foamy!

BWHAHAHAHA!!! Oh Japan how you make me lol!

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 15:14:16 GMT

Yes that's Pheonix Wright and yest it's played by (as my eyes do not decive...) women...

I WANT TO SEE IT!!!

MEME TIME!! MEME TIME!!

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 14:39:54 GMT

Here's a little photo meme!

- Make a Picture of at least 5 Objects/treasures/things that you like or that say "Me".
- 1 thing of each, not 3 games and 2 dvd's that kinda stuff etc.
- Explain everything on the picture why it's Important or why it says "Me".
- Tag up to 4 people.

(For the ones that ALSO look on my Deviant, yes it's one and the same!!)

1. The "Daddy hat": Made by a dear friend of mine (I really should wear it on Abunai cosplaying Rude... XD) This conveys my love for my friends ánd anime/manga since it comes from my favourite anime and manga Azumanga Daioh made by Kiyohiko Azuma. (I realize the the same friend gave me the first volume of it...)
2. The book: This says that I'm a reader ánd a fantasy lover. I'm planning to LARP and I'm playing diffrent Fantasy games.
3 a. The Ipod: Music is my life. I LOVE to sing (Even if people think/say I sing bad. I don't care) If I didn't listen to music for one day I haven't lived...Or I'm dead.
3 b. The headphones/earplugs: I'm a listener. I listen to everyones stories (Though I tend to forget them... ^_^; ) and also in music I tend to take myself away with the lyrics instead of the music itself. It's also the reason I like bands that have great lyrics such as Kamelot (The Haunting, Rule the world, Blucher), Nightwish (While your lips are still red, Nemo, Creek Mary's blood) and Sonata Artica (Caleb, My Selene, For the sake of revenge)
4. The ring: This ring is one I keep close since the inside is engraved with the year of death of my greandmother I held close. It conveys my bond with the "world of spirits" and the "Other plane". I don't call it heaven or Nirvana. It's another place where the ones we held dear live and where we be reunited when we pass on.
5. The piece of paper: I'm a dreamer and a person who fantasizes about stuff. I can think of stories and forget to write them down. A reason to keep the paper untouched since I'm also forgetfull. But, the creator in me always has a white canvas in front of him before he works on it.

This is me..In 5 objects...It was hard but it was fun...

And I tag... HEY! YOU! Yeah you!! Make a picture of 5 objects and post it would ya? Thanks!

"This is my path"

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 14:51:12 GMT

Yes, It's a double whammy today (read: The journal before this was written on another date but I never cared about it posting it...)

I had a great last 3 days, that's because I worked at my old helpdesk company. The one I got fired from by te higher ups. It's strange but the first call I took was easy and from there on it was going great. I mean, the second day (Yesterday) I got assinged to a few "old projects" that I could do. And I was pulling them off too! It's a shame I didn't saw one person I really wanted to talk to but still... There were 3 other people and afther he first day we were already done with the assingments we got, just a little list to do and we were done!

The second day was even a suprise and I did my job good (so I've heard). And today (My last day, it was a 3 day job...) I even got comments from "old collauges" that they were suprised that I didn't picked up the phone with hesitation. The first day there I was very afraid I was doing something wrong so I listend for 1½ days to the others. And now all I did was sigh and called the first person to ask if they were interested in my help for info. Most of them turned it down or had an appointment set for another date but I felt that I was in my element. A great place to work, close by my home and great colleagues. Hell I even toutured the 3 others a bit on how to talk over the phone ( It's best to say "That's for waiting sir/madam" instead of "I'm back!", it sound less Shining and more neat.)
I wish they offerd me a job there, but who knows... maybe I can work there...I just need to kick Randstad (A company that supplies jobs..) out inbetween!

But I also realized again that what I did there was something I was good at and made me feel good. I'ts a path I want to walk instead of saying "This is just a sidetrack that I walk to get to my goal." No, this is more a path that I walk to get me to my goal and keep on walking afther that point.
Sure you need money to survive and you even need to do the crummy jobs to get it but this is a job I want to do. I just want the right people around me where I can be assured that I can work in peace without having to watch my own back if I fuck up.

I think this is something I have to focus on..But let's just wait for the other job applicants I sent out to see how it fares there...

Captain Planet > G.I Joe

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 14:35:00 GMT

Remember the time that you were a kid on saturday morning with no internet and nothing to do whatsoever (Read: Living in Holland is fun, you get either rain, more rain or clouded weather) then sitting in front of the T.V.?
I know I do!

Oh I remember the morings with Power rangers and G.I. Joe and Transformers. And all of them subtitled!! Nobody ever DARED to speak over Tommy's voice or tried to copy Cobra commander's voice. Hell if it was dubbed, it was ment for the kids from 1 to 6. If you could read, you watched the subbed series. Opimus Prime in a epic battle between Megatron with lazer guns (Mainly Megatron) and transformations and even catch phrases like "Autobots, Transform and rollout!!"

But now they're making moves of the shows we loved. G.I. Joe, Transformers, (I was going to add Batman too but originating from a comic book and stuff...). Probably over 20 years they're going to make movies of the shows they have now.

Yes I know I kinda ranted about this but hear me out...I actually heard an idea that might catch on!

This is from the site "Once upon a win":
"Maybe it’s just me, I’d rather see a Captain Planet movie than a G.I. Joe movie."

I think he's onto something. Everyone that watched Captain Planet is driving a car and also to put it in Hippie terms "Building on the road to the Earth's destruction man!" If you make movie like that for kids (Or an action movie, to be honest I don't care, Hollywood already ripped my heart out) you'd call on the kids to help improve the world. Plus it would be fun to see Halle Berry in the suit for Gaia (Yes, I casted Halle Berry as Gaia! Got any other contestants??) and it's a "inconvienient truth" in kids size!!

Got anyone else that would play a baddie or one of the main characters?

Next time, LISTEN to yourself Fhant

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 11:50:48 GMT

If you have twitter and me in your list, you probably have seen me watching you...

If you don't...

http://twitter.com/Fhant

Hollywood killed my youth sentiment

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 18:38:17 GMT

I'm gonna rage now. Everyone that wants to watch Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, stand back and please burn some incense for my dying youth memories I had for this awesome series.

Okay first of all, WHAT THE FREAKING HELL HOLLYWOOD!!? Who was the idiot that thought "Let's make a movable mouth for Optimus Prime and add some eyes with it too!"
If you're gonna make a movie that will make the fans scream in utter delight, make it like they thought it was! (*waves* Hi Hollywood, fan of tansformers) Bumblebee didn't had any lines in the movie and Optimus was taunting away while he fought. And MEGATRON DIDN'T CHANGE INTO A GUN BUT IN A FREAKING HELICOPTER?! WTF?!

And don't get me started on "The Fallen" or the autobot twins... why did they had to be all "Wez gonna kick your ass nigga!" and had their faces like freaking idiots? I just hope they didn't mess with Sound...SOUNDWAVE IS A FREAKING SATTALITE?! Soundwave is supposed to be a casette player with casettes that can transform into minions!! I could only find one good part and that's when I went to the toiler, because my friend said I missed nothing when I came back.

Transformers and Transformers 2 have killed my youth...and I even saw a trailer of G.I. Joe...Honestly...what the hell Hollywood..Are you also planning to do M.A.S.K. or the Smurfs in live action? Cause if you do, please make your own head roll..

In other news: There's a live action movie of Blood: the last vampire coming out...*shakes head*

Hey hey whaddaya know!

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 09:46:20 GMT

Amen to that

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 18:49:27 GMT

If you can read this, it probably means you too ^_^

"Our mission is t' punish any heretic who would deny the word of God! We will crush yer unholy body and salt th' earth w' yer dust! Amen!" - Father Alexander Anderson (Hellsing)

To all the twitter haters

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 07:44:25 GMT

I give thee...

An ally!!

And starting from today, I'll try (Yes you heard it TRY) to post a quote I heard or find inspiring.

Ending Quote:
"Suddenly, it seems as though all the world's a-twitter."
- Newsweek

Nasty secrets!

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 17:02:37 GMT

Heheh...

50 secrets about yourself...

1. Is that your natural hair colour?
Yes it is, but I wanted it to be black...and long...

2. Where was your profile pic taken?
In someones mind, then edited by Lily! XD

3. What did you do today?
Woke up, ate cerial and milk (Milk and cerial...), got pissed at my dad because I ALWAYS WENT ON 7.10 to my job, worked, went home soaking wet, changed my attire went ti the movement specialist, heard that I have to get a new pillow, went home, ate and now I'm writing a meme about secrets...

4. Are you happy when your single?
I've always been single...

5. What is your current mood?
Okay I guess...since I'm getting a day off on friday and Thursday is my last day on my job... what's actually is being a bore since I have to carry PC's up some steel stairs...Yeah I'm risking my neck..

6. What colour underwear are you wearing?
A bright pink string with a hello Kitty print on the front and frills on the back!!

...For real: a black boxershort...

7. What makes you happy?
A bright blue sky, an apple pie...Nah, actually everything makes me happy... it's just how it's presented to me makes me depend on how I act upon it...

8. Are you musically inclined?
Vocally or instrumentally? I always shred 5 air guitars on my way home..and probably let some people bleed from their ears when I sing "Slaughter your world"

9. If you could go back in time, and change something what would it be?
Nothing, all that happens made me who I am today. Sure I wanted to stand up for myself but if I didn't, I wouldn't have chosen 2 wrong educations and met Kage who introduced me to anything related to anime..Hell, I'd probably be one of those people that would go "I'm on twitter, lookt at me.."

10. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day- what would you be?
I actually have no idea...a cat sounds nice...but hanging around like my cat does is soo boring...

11. Ever had a near death experience?
Nope.

12. Something you do a lot?
Surfing on the web and writing... Oh how I write these days...

13. What's the name of the song stuck in your head right now?
Makes me smile...a song from the flash movie Ferrets

14. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
Someone from a future job I'm going to for a talk...YAY!

15. Name someone with the same b-day as you?
You can look here : http://www.brainyhistory.com/daysbirth/birth_december_17.html

16. When was the last time you cried?
I almost cried when they buried Huges in FMA: Brotherhood

17. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
How large are we talking? 100? +1000? If it's the first, no...If it's the latter, come talk to me after Chibicon 2009 XD

18. If you could have one super power what would it be?
THE POWERD OF MOTHERFUCKING GAMBIT!! HOOYEAH!!

19. What's the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex?
Hair and eyes...

20. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Never been there...

21. What's your biggest secret?
I actually lied in my last meme...You really thing I'd give away my biggest secret?

22. What's your favorite colour?
Black and blue

23. When was the last time you lied?
see 21

24. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
Nah, but I always see "in the dream garden tonight"...I always have my TV on Veronica who changes into Jetix in the morning...

25. Do you have braces?
Nope, I did want them though...

26. If you could change one thing about your life what would it be?
The belly I have..

27. What are you eating or drinking atm?
Nothing...Nothing...Nothing falala...

28. Do you speak any other language?
Other then Engish and Dtuch? No. I am going to learn Japanese though

29. What's your favorite smell?
THe smell of cut grass...

30. When was the last time you shaved your legs?
Never...and I never shall...

31. What were you doing this morning at 8am?
taking a sip of my first coffee..Hmmmm....Coffeeee....

32. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Wathing FMA...

33. What are you wearing?
Jeans, socks, T-shirt... The usual stuff...

34. Are you mad at anyone right now?
Nope

35. The last two people to say they loved you?
The little female voices in my head don't count right?....Damnit... nobody...

36. Last thing received in the mail?
Bill of my phone..

37. Do you have any famous relatives?
Nope, my family is really no that known... only in my city...

38. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Nope...

39. How is your hair?
Short and donned with a headset...

40. How many different drinks have you had today?
Milk, coffee...Milk...Water... nope that was it...

41. What have you eaten today?
Muesli, 6 slices of bread and pasta...

42. Are you good at maths?
1+1=11!!

43. Do you have plans on Saturday night?
Probably hit face first on my bed and sleep through...I had Chibicon then...YAY SEEING COSPLAYES AND FRIENDS!!

44. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Never done it...Never went to the beach either...

45. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Yes...Lan party... but a quick nap does miracles... it'll wreck your neck but it does miracles!

46. Do you like the ocean?
Yeah from a distance...

47. What are you excited about?
CHIIIIBIIIICONNNNNNNN!!!!!! <- (Clear enough??)

48. What did you do last night?
Played Wow, watched Malcom in the middle, went to bed.

49. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
Nope, they were all dead before I was born.

50. You like your name?
...Meh... peole call me diffrently, It's useless to help them say my name properly..

Limit break: WANT/ MEME HERE!!

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 08:57:45 GMT

Here is a list of games that I want and that I'm playing:

Playing
World of Warcraft PC (Yes, AGAIN.)
Assasins creed Xbox 360 (Playing it to get the conversasionalist achievement)
Eternal Sonata Xbox 360 (Though at a small hold...)
Left 4 dead PC (It's not as scary as I thought it would be...But it's awesome...)

Want
Assasins creed 2 Xbox 360 (The game is sooo awesome)
Prototype Xbox 360 (Being a mutant and killing/helping people...FUN!!)
Final Fantasy VIII PS3/PSP (It will be placed on the PS Home stuff to download it... I'M SOO GONNA GET ME A PSP!!!)
Final Fantasy: Crisis Core PSP (Hey, if I'm getting a PSP, I can at least get the other games...)
Brütal legend Xbox 360 (2 words: ROCK OUT!!)

I should save alot of money...

And after you pressed A, you've unlocked the achievement

you know the drill, bold the things that apply and leave the ones that don't

I am 5'4" or shorter
I think I'm ugly Horaay for a low self- esteem!!
I have many scars
I tan easily if I would actually go into the sun
I wish my hair was a different colour And longer...
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color
I have a tattoo
I am self-conscious about my appearance
I've had braces
I wear glasses
I'd get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free
I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger More then once even...I should stop listening to that inner voice...
I have more than 2 piercings
I have piercings in places besides my ears
I have freckles

family/home life.

I've sworn at my parents
I've been kicked out of the house
My biological parents are together
I have a sibling less than one year old
I want to have kids someday.
I have children
I've lost a child

embarrassment.

I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation I lost count after the first one XD
Disney movies still make me cry
I've snorted while laughing
I've laughed so hard I've cried
I've glued my hand to something
I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose And made the janitor clean it up ...
I've had my pants rip in public
I've farted while laughing

health.

I was born with a disease/impairment (Is crazy a disease??)
I've had stitches
I've broken a bone
I've had my tonsils removed
I've sat in a doctor's office with a friend
I've had my wisdom teeth removed
I had a serious surgery
I've had chicken pox

traveling.

I've driven over 200 miles in one day
I've been on a plane
I've been to Canada
I've been to Niagara Falls
I've been to Japan
I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans
I've been to Europe Belgium and England...Who wants to pay my travel expenses?!
I've been to Africa
I've been to France

experiences.

I've been lost in my city
I've seen a shooting star
I've wished on a shooting star
I've seen a meteor shower
I've gone out in public in my pajamas
I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator
I've been to a casino Went in with 20 euro's and want out with 10
I've been skydiving
I've gone skinny dipping
I've played spin the bottle
I've crashed a car
I've been skiing
I've been in a play
I've met someone in person from the internet Many people, where many people also are out of my memories
I've caught a snowflake on my tongue It's harder when you try it with a yellow snowflake! Not that I ever tried...Or will do...
I've seen the Northern Lights
I've sat on a roof top at night I want to do that once...On a late summer's night...
I've played chicken
I've played a prank on someone Lost count...I play prans (small ones, hiding stuff and such) on alot of people...
I've ridden in a taxi
I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
I've eaten Sushi
I've been snowboarding

relationships.

I'm single
I'm in a relationship
I'm available
I'm engaged
I'm married
I've gone on a blind date
I've been the dumpee more than the dumper
I miss someone right now
I have a fear of abandonment
I've been divorced
I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
I've told someone I loved them when I didn't
I've told someone I didn't love them when I did
I've kept something from a past relationship Actually my mom does... if you count grade school (basisschool ) letters...

sexuality.

I've had a crush on someone of the same gender
I've kissed a member of the same gender Only my dad!! On the cheek!!
I've had sex with someone of the opposite gender
I've had sex with someone of the same gender
I've had sex with more than one person at the same time
I am a cuddler
I've been kissed in the rain
I've had sex outdoors
I've hugged a stranger
I have kissed a stranger
I have had sex with a stranger

honesty/crime.

I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't
I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't
I have lied to my parents about where I am
I am keeping a secret from the world
I've cheated while playing a game
I've cheated on a test
I've run a red light On my bike a few times...
I've been suspended from school
I've witnessed a crime
I've been in a fist fight
I've been arrested
I've shoplifted

drugs/alcohol.

I've consumed alcohol
I smoke cigarettes
I smoke pot
I regularly drink
I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them
I've done hard drugs
I've been addicted to an illegal substance
I take cough meds when I'm not sick
I can't swallow pills
I can swallow about 5 pills at a time

mental health.

I have been diagnosed with depression
I shut others out when I'm depressed
I take anti-depressants
I have an eating disorder
I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it
I've hurt myself on purpose like bite myself to lower my anger instead of hurting innosent around me.
I'm addicted to self harm
I've woken up crying

death.

I'm afraid of dying
I hate funerals
I've seen someone dying
I have attempted suicide
Someone close to me has attempted suicide
Someone close to me has committed suicide

random.

I can sing well. The people around me think I do...Maybe they should see a doctor.. XD
I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant
I open up to others too easily
I don't kill bugs
I curse regularly
I sing in the shower
I am a morning person.
I paid for my cell phone ring tone
I'm a snob about grammar.
I am a sports fanatic
I play with my hair Yesterday I combed my hair like Kaiba from Yu-Gi-Oh and said "Screw the rules, I have money" XD
I had "x"s in my screen name
I love being neat
I've copied more than 30 CDs in a day
I bake well enough
My favorite colour is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue
I don't know how to shoot a gun It was put it at the side of you head, pull the trigger and wait for the persona to come out right??
I am in love with love
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS OnCe...
I laugh at my own jokes Sometimes...Usally when I go "Get it? I'm so funny"
I eat fast food weekly
I believe in ghosts
I am online 24/7, even as an away message
I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room
I am really ticklish
I love white chocolate And dark chocolate, and not-so dark chocolate... Hell... I love chocolate!!
I bite my nails
I play video games
I'm good at remembering faces
I'm good at remembering names
I'm good at remembering dates
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life
I've been honest while filling out this meme

Seme/uke test

Mon, 25 May 2009 07:26:25 GMT

I'm quick in stealing memes, I should be in jail...I stole this from kagemarunl

You are a Romantic Seme!

A true romantic, you're safest sticking with a partner who is gentle and can appreciate your mature, loving ways and protective nature. Most often found with a handful of roses and wine, you are committed to your partner and their happiness, which makes you a perfect match for the Innocent Uke, who you will dedicate yourself to and lavish with gifts and attention.

Most compatible with: Innocent Uke, Clueless Uke

Least compatible with: Badass Uke, Dramatic Uke

What seme or uke are you? Take the experience at SemeUke.com, or find merchandise here.

Oh and on another note... 8 days from now I'll get my own computer!
This mean no more:

"Fhant, could you help me with... " (Our Pc is downstairs, that means easy misuse of me)
"Hey Fhant, what are you doing??" ( <- Annoying family members that ask stuff when I CLEARLY have my headset on...what results in)
"Fhant... Fhant... FHANT!!" (And my being completly annoyed because they interrupted me!)

And my favourite...

"Fhant, [time of day/date] there is a party, I don't want you seeing behind the computer." (What results into me being bored)

But soon I'll get a new PC! It'll cost me 1000 euros (Screen, PC, keyboard and mouse...) but it's worth it damnit!!

Now only for a router and lots of cables...

Oh Roflrazzi, Ilu! <3

Mon, 18 May 2009 16:44:19 GMT

If you watched a movie where vamipires are

Emotional sissy boys
Attending high school
Sparkle

You should see a doctor for the images you got from vampires and go to your nearest torch and pitchfork dealer for some old school shunning and bookburning! Fhant's bookburning title: Twilight

Oh and I had a great weekend, busted my throat, sang Slaughter your world 3 times and slept for almost 3 hours!!

YAY FOR BEING A TOTAL WRECK!!

HEY LISTEN KAGE!! HEY LISTEN KAGE! HEY LI-whack

Fri, 15 May 2009 04:49:43 GMT

Kage, since you're a great guy, friend, crazy person (YOU CANNOT DENY THAT EVEN YOU HAVE CRAZY TIMES!) I'll give you 3 presents.

This is the first one:

Why? Well, you like Jun right?

I think you're now out of your comatose state that involved a heavy blooddloss through the nose (Medical terms, yay!) so I'm safe to tell you the 2 other presents...

And both of them don't involve a pinter!! :P

Happy birthday TiTi (Or, since you've been called by me Titty XD)
May you get stuff that come from others hearts.

About Wolverine

Tue, 12 May 2009 18:01:03 GMT

I'm missing "To see MOTHERFUCKING GAMIBT"!! WHERE'S THE MOTHERFUCKING GAMBIT PART?!

Oh and for those who are too lazy to watch the movie:

Please fill out this form...

Sun, 10 May 2009 11:35:54 GMT

Do you live in Brazil?
Yes
No

Do you like Shota?
Yes
YES!!!
No

Are you born on the 10th of May?
Yes
No

Is your online name AngelLily?
Yes
No

Did you ever expected I would do this?
No

Feliz aniversário Lily!!!

Since I don't have Photoshop anymore, this'll have to do:

I hope your birthday will be great!!

Ahahahaha...HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! cough

Sat, 09 May 2009 08:10:39 GMT